This year I found the answer!

Christmas has always been an overwhelming time for me, as for many other people, especially if you are neurodivergent. It's hard not to put on my neurotypical mask and that's exhausting.

As a child my parents often argued, there was a tense feeling in the house. When I was a teen my mum remarried and my stepdad has always been very stressed by Christmas, even to the extent of deciding one year to repaint the dining room at 8pm on Christmas Eve because we had people coming for Christmas.

After 25 years of Christmas with my husband and 22 as a parent Christmas has become more and more our 4 person unit. We have had Christmas day with just us for quite a few years now but with big family get togethers on other days. Since covid we mask so we haven't stopped for food the last 2 or 3 years because I just kept catching COVID or something else and that would leave me wiped for weeks and weeks. This year my health has been getting worse so we didn't do family get togethers, we saw people a couple at a time over a longer spaced out time, (still more to see online after New year. )

So this year I've had proper rest days in amongst Christmas, I had two proper rests on Christmas day, and gave myself permission to not push through, and to admit I needed to lie down.

I saw friends yesterday which means I am bedbound today. Resting up ready for my birthday on New year's Eve, I'm even spreading that out, so celebrating some of it tomorrow so I can rest on my birthday without feeling like I'm missing out!

With all of that I'm hopeful I'll manage games online with friends to see the new year in.

Next Christmas I think I can cut down on presents and cards and send letters during the year, maybe presents too! Everything spread out! I have thought about moving my birthday to the summer for a long time, easier to celebrate outside with people and less exhausting that right next to Christmas!

I bought myself a shower seat too as my heart rate spikes when I stand, so admitting that might be a help is a good step forward for me, fighting that internal ableism!!! And a bed table! So much easier for reading a heavy book! Not looking at it as giving up has been my internal battle. But the recent breathlessness is changing my perspective!

My biggest aim is to get back to some painting soon, slowly, slowly, it's about realising that I'm working on a different timescale with so fewer useable hours in a day. And needing to be horizontal so much makes it so much more difficult!

What have been your tricks for managing the festive season? Whether it's because you're neurodivergent or chronically ill or both! Or whichever reason you find it all a stress!

Recent digital art done whilst lying down.

Wishing you all a happy, healthy and peaceful 2026

Much love x